[TW transphobia, homophobia, abuse]
This feds into something larger, but I really want to talk about it here, because it is dangerous and damaging and really grinds my gears.
NOT ALL TRANSPHOBES ARE “SECRETLY TRANS”.
Not all homophobes are secretly gay, either.
This bugs me for a number of reasons:
First, it’s painting all trans people as horrible people, or people who are repressing shit and acting out. And that is absolutely not the case. It erases a lot of trans’ experiences, and also makes us trans folk look like we’re not firing on all cylinders.
Second, and here we go again, it’s not usually trans folk making these assertions. Again, I love my cis friends, but get back in your lane. You don’t get to label folk, that’s for them to decide, and again doing this to people defines trans folk by your definitions of what they should be. Don’t do it.
Thirdly, it’s dangerous. Because we are told repeatedly not to pay any notice to transphobic people, or homophobic people, that then gets passed on to trans folk. And we, and particularly Black Trans Women and Trans Women of Colour, ABSOLUTELY DESERVE TO BE LISTENED TO.
It also makes being trans seem like some dirty little secret we’re hiding away. and that we’re being deceptive if we’re not out to everyone. Every trans person has different experiences, and will come out at different times and in different ways. Labelling people as “secretly trans” disrupts these experiences, and makes it clear you are not a safe person to be out around.
DON’T DO IT.